resolutions? at a time like this?
this blog piece was put together by the answers of roughly 100 people to questions posed on instagram - to them, thank you <3
One year ago I shared thoughts on the start and end of a decade.
“It feels pointless, no, not pointless, maybe naïve is the word? to muse about what the next decade will hold. Because how could anyone pretend to know? … Some of us, maybe and probably all of us, will experience loss. It is my hope that we will all know love. I hope that we will fill our lives with people who inspire us, who seek to know us, who care for us, and that we let them know that we love them. That we will all have people who make us feel special. I hope that we will find comfort and joy in things as simple as worn jean jackets and familiar drives, that we will not lose sight of the beauty in the ordinary. I hope that we will move for things that matter, together”
Oh how naïve I feel. There was no way to know a year ago what 2020 was going to bring. In many ways, it feels as though everything I was preparing for for the next decade, crammed itself into 9 months. All of us have experienced loss this year – that is a blanket statement I feel confident about. It is my hope that all of us have also known love, that there have been moments of laughter and kindness. It is my sense that it has felt more important than ever this year to tell the people you love that you love them. When given the chance, it seems as though we have hugged our framily closer this year.
At the top of every year, I write myself a letter to open at the top of the next year. I write down some of the year’s stand-out moments and lessons learned and ask questions about what life is like when I’m reading it a year from now. It is not obviously a list of resolutions but it is definitely full of reflections and hopes. This year, inspired by the community we’ve built through IG polls these past few months, I thought we could do something similar together.
Something you would tell Jan 1, 2020 you:
Throw all caution to the wind because you only got 2 months
Buckle up. Buy extra toilet paper. Give longer hugs
Download Headspace NOW
Soak up every moment with Uncle Jim
Growth doesn’t happen on a schedule
Brace yourself
Trust yourself
Breathe
You are your best thing
Move out of DC for a year
Don’t take things for granted
There is a plan, it will work out
It’s going to be okay. You’re going to come out of this stronger
Change is ok
Stay strong
Capitalize on every opportunity (social, professional, or other)
Write everything down
This year will allow you to finally learn how to lean on yourself for your own happiness
Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming
Be kinder
Take advantage of the time I have at Colgate
It’s going to be hard, but you will come out more resilient on the other side
Good luck
You’ll get through it and you’ll be stronger because of it even if you feel weaker
It will get better
An unexpected joy of 2020:
Lots of laughter with my close friends
My sister got married, I got accepted to medical school, Biden was elected
Tiger King
Being stuck in my hometown with my best friends. 2020 was shitty but that was a gift
Got me a mans hehe
Incredible new friends
Being able to spend so much time with the people I love thanks to working from home
A new job that I wouldn’t have been lead to if I wasn’t laid off
A new dog was welcomed into our family
Family time
Reuniting with hometown friends
Spending more time with dogs
Finding my workout preferences
Getting to know myself
My business
Cats cats cats
Being able to spend every morning at the beach I grew up near
Realizing I’m excited to graduate
Finally being able to do a push-up for the first time in my life
Finding a routine
Getting closer with my cousins via weekly zoom chats
More time with family
Distance running
Spending more time with myself
More me time
Finding a new amazing professor and spending more time with my dogs
Learning different kinds of fun
A year ago I wrote of hoping that we would find joy and comfort and beauty in the small things, in the things that seem too ordinary to notice. I think a lot of us learned not to take those small things for granted this year. As the world slowed down (at many moments it felt like the world may have come to a complete standstill), we were given the chance to reflect and reprioritize. One of my hopes, resolutions if you will/must, for this year and beyond, is to, as the world gets busy again, still find and create those slow, still moments for myself.
What matters differently today than it did a year ago?
Living
The little things
Family, I wish culture more broadly defined it than just nuclear
Schedules I set for myself
Setting intentions no matter what 2021 brings
I can actually identify small things I can do to make myself better next year
Making the next best choice in a world you can’t control
Keeping up with friends virtually (as a bad texter this has been a priority)
Being thankful for my health!
The ability to see my loved ones and doing small things rather than big ones
My plans for tonight (NYE)
Money
Friendships
Myself!! And my happiness
Time. Physical space. Intention. Hugs.
Living life to the fullest
Being close to family
The people in my life
Life after college
My health and my family’s health
Me
I’m more aware of not taking my relationships for granted
The environment is too unpredictable, would rather set short term goals
Strong interpersonal connections, being more intentional
Getting through the day and little wins, not big successes and achievements like I thought
Daily things I took for granted
What is most important to you right now?
Using my voice for things that matter
Chosen family, being alive to witness life with loved ones
The well-being of my loved ones
Being with people I love and enjoying my time
Friends, family, and my future
Staying health and sane
The health of my loved ones
Staying sane and being positive
Family, friends, and the most simple pleasures in life
Mental health
Finding happiness
My relationships
Identity. Hope.
Self-acceptance and understanding
Peace of mind
Relaxing
Mental and physical health
Not taking any interpersonal relationship for granted
Finding what makes me happy
Staying mentally healthy and keeping those around me safe
Family/friends
Now normally, I don’t spend serious time thinking about concrete resolutions for the year.
54% of us don’t normally set resolutions.
49% of us are setting resolutions this year.
This year, I am part of that small percent that, for whatever reason, is really buying into them for the first time. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, maybe it’s because I’ve finally found the appeal of Pinterest and mood boards, who knows, but for the first time in a long time I’ve set intentions and priorities for the year that feel achievable and inspiring and that I feel confident I may actually stick to. I’ve sprinkled them into our group answers below.
Something you want to leave in 2020:
Self-confidence issues
TRUMP
Fear of getting loved ones sick
Believing I won’t get through whatever I’m feeling
Worrying so much about food/my relationship with food
Toxic body image, the need for validation, social media
COVID-19
Comparing where I am in life to others
Fear
Compulsive heterosexuality
Impatience
Self-doubt and time spent on people who don’t deserve my time
Chaotic energy
Hate
Regrets
Self-doubt
Guilt about saying “no” and setting boundaries
Pessimism
Anything that doesn’t serve me or add value to my life
As much worry about the future
Self-deprecation
What do you hope for 2021?
Peace of mind
More extended family and community gatherings
For the ability to take a solo trip
Confidence
Risks that pay off, hard work, happiness
More time to see people outside of my COVID circle!
Being able to see loved ones I haven’t seen
Family to stay healthy
To keep making decisions for myself and not on others preferences
Patience, support, baby, hugs
Travel, strong friendships, less death
Much more laughter and lighter moments!
The end of the pandemic
To take steps towards body neutrality / self-acceptance
To travel and explore my interests more
More connections with people
Normalcy, stronger relationships, leisure time
Adventures
Stronger relationships, and more growth
A vaccine! And visiting Colgate!
Less stress
Growth
For 75% of us, 2020 was the hardest year yet.
And, to be frank, 2021 has been really hard so far too.
We won’t heal from 2020 (or 2021) all at once. Like never before we are in desperate need of one another. Like never before we need to move for things that matter.
In the letter I wrote to myself to open on January 1, 2021 I wrote: Choose the people and things you love consistently.
I don’t know what the road back from 2020 looks like. But I do think that if we continue to show up for the people and things in our life that make us believe in better things, that make us feel seen and known and loved, that we will be walking the road towards healing together.
To end, I just want to say Happy New Year (a few weeks late). I am cautiously hopeful for what this year will bring and I am happy we are starting it together. Cheers.
