how we're doing
It is difficult for me to try and begin to make sense of the ways in which life has changed so dramatically over the past month. A month ago was more or less a normal Tuesday in Hamilton, NY. Sure we knew change was coming. My friends and I were starting to question our upcoming trip to California and we were preparing to shift to online classes after spring break. But despite the encroachment of some of the social consequences of COVID-19, life was, more or less, normal. Colgate seniors might remember that one month ago was the Cookie Pie Eating Contest at the Inn. We might remember finally feeling some sunshine after months of grey snow. Maybe we went to the Taproom. Maybe we went out to eat. Maybe our week was filled with meetings, projects, exams, and deadlines before we finally got to enjoy spring break.
The point is life looked very different one month ago. Our world seems to change every day and we are being asked each morning to follow new rules and regulations. And largely, we are being asked to do this physically alone or with only a few people. I’ve found myself thinking a lot about what community looks like now. With each of us quarantined at home, how has our experience of community shifted? What are we all doing with this time? What are we all feeling? Are we feeling the same things? Doing the same things as our neighbors just one wall over? How might there be a way for us to walk through this (at least 6 feet apart) together?
This all brings me to the week-long adventure in polls and questions on my Instagram story this past week. Over the course of the last week I took to my Instagram and asked 22 questions. I asked about a lot of things including: what we’re missing, what we have been able to smile about, what we’re learning about ourselves, what scares us right now, and where we’re able to find hope right now.
My favorite part about this kind of blog piece is that it isn’t just about me and what I’m thinking and feeling. It gets to be about all of us. It gets to be about this community. About you and your neighbor and that kid from one of your classes and the friend of your friend and also that person you’ve never heard of. It gets to be about us. And so I don’t want to put too much of my voice in here, I want to keep this about us. What I will say, is that if this piece has shown me anything, it is that we are still in this together. The following results include poll & question answers from over 200 people from across the world and of all ages. This is new for all of us and there are things all of us are missing, scared of, and working through. There are things all of us have lost. I hope this is a reminder that you are not in this alone. You may be cooped up right now and with only a few people but the world is still with you. We’re still with you. I’m still with you.
Here’s how we’ve all be holding up.
We’re all missing something.
We miss people.
My friends
The friends I was living with at school and their senses of humor.
My brother
The people at Colgate
My friends and professors at Colgate
My students
My dogs
Family
My family who lives far away
My significant other
My school friends
My family and coworkers
Seeing people I know all over campus even if it’s just a quick “hey” in passing
My friends and my freedom
We miss places and activities.
Socializing
Dressing up for a day out
The gym
Running to catch the bus
Beer cheese pretzels from the Colgate Inn and chipwiches
Getting food with friends
Hanging out/seeing my friends
Morning meditation classes
Going to brunch on the weekends
Spending time with people outside of my household
My dorm room
People watching every day during my walk to school
Driving in the car with friends
Wearing clothes that make me feel cute
Starbucks
Colgate
Home
We miss feelings.
Feeling grounded and knowing what’s happening
Feeling safe and secure
Being abroad and the happiness that accompanied it
The feeling of normalcy that I took for granted
Feeling comfortable in public places
Normal Life
Having my own space
Having space to be alone for awhile
Hugs
Face-to-face interaction
A sense of routine and normalcy
Having a purpose
My daily routine
My old life
We feel a bit split on how we should be using this time. 40% of us think we should be using this time to do more things while the remaining 60% think this time calls for rest, calls for a pause. I want to say that I recognize that there is probably a happier, more realistic compromise in the middle.
Some of us are keeping a routine (54%).
Some of us are spending some time outside (69% on the day polled).
We’re experimenting. We’re trying new things.
Some of us will come out of quarantine with a new found love (maybe) for fitness
Online workout videos
An at-home workout app
Indoor workouts (which I’m not a huge fan of)
HIIT workouts
Running
I started going on walks
Some of us are now master chefs
Cooking
Baking
Baking bread
Getting delivery groceries
Two people mentioned that now they are “actually doing all of my readings for class”. I’m proud of you both!
Other things we’re trying out -
Watching a movie every night
Listening to podcasts
Doing nothing for once
Reading before bed instead of staring at my phone/the news
Sitting with my anxiety. I cannot very well go anywhere or run at the moment.
We’re learning things about ourselves.
I need a schedule to keep me motivated
I forgot how much I love to read
I’m really close with my family and grateful we haven’t killed each other yet
I’m better at spending time with myself than I thought I was going to be
I like my alone time a lot less than I thought I did … missing human interaction
I’m much stronger than I thought I was
I love baking! And I need more alone time than I thought I did
I love having time to myself
Turns out I like podcasts now!
I need structure but I’m bad at providing it for myself
I’m much crazier than I thought!
I need some form of human interaction for my own mental health
How to be comfortable with my own thoughts, how to sit and actually let myself think free from social media or TV distractions
We are made for community – community that is broader than idolized nuclear family
I rely heavily on my routine in a college environment
I am more extroverted + enjoy social interaction more than I thought
There are still things that make us smile.
Facetiming friends
Becoming closer with lovely people via text
Painting
My great aunt who recently facetimed me while she was dancing to jazz and made me join
I finished a puzzle, facetiming my friends, really good TikToks
How my puppy runs sideways
Spring flowers
How excited my professors have been to start up classes again
Zoom + facetime chats with friends
The creative ways we have found to celebrate birthdays in quarantine
My little sister getting into high school and my little brother and his friends getting into college
How happy my dog is that I’m living at home again, I can tell she missed me
The deep, silly, hard, inspiring conversations I’ve had with my friends over facetime
Feeling the sun on my face!!! Makes me smile so hard!!!!!
Hearing New Yorkers cheering/clapping for healthcare workers at the end of their days
Being able to hug my mom and brother everyday
My family and pets
My pup, being back in the same time zone as my support system, family game nights
Time with my family that I didn’t know when I’d have next (or ever again)
John Krasinki’s “Some Good News”
All the rainbows people (here in Montreal) have put up in their windows with #itsgoingtobeok
Having puzzle time with my mom
My brother (35yo) downloaded TikTok and sends lip synching videos almost everyday
Being able to spend time at home and hang out with my family
Facetiming and joking with my friends just like we do in person
The feeling of running in the sunshine
When my friends send random messages of love
The love Colgate had for each other
My puppy
Reading a bedtime story to my brother via facetime
Seeing my dog
A friend sending me a letter
When my dog starts snoring/having puppy dreams when I’m on a work call
Cooking in my kitchen
Less pollution! The earth is getting cleaner
Flowers in my backyard that are still blooming despite it all
A lot of us are doing just “okay”.
On the day polled, 41% of us said our mental health was good and 59% said it could be better.
We’re feeling a lot. And we’re feeling a lot of feelings that often we don’t talk about.
What scares us right now? What are we worried about?
People I love are hospitalized not being able to recover
This situation going on for many many months
Scared about all the people dying. Scared for our health professionals.
Scared for the lasting impact this will have on our world.
I’m scared about what the world will look like once this is all over. I’m concerned for small business owners who may never be able to recover from this and the people without jobs right now
My friend working as an EMT, economic destruction for people with low income/job loss
The possibility of requiring a ventilator if I contract the virus
The hopelessness, burnout, and trauma that could destroy our healthcare workers
Worried about my grandparents becoming infected and just the uncertainty of everything
Hmm maybe just the unknown of it all
I’m being redeployed from my regular job to work at the hospital
How long this will last and how many people and families are hurting
How long this is all gonna last
What will happen when the healthcare system is completely overwhelmed
The idea of losing loved ones
Fear of what happens after this … will we be scared of each other / human contact?
Fear of the unknown. Will we have summer? Will I get a job? Will school resume next semester?
My grandparents staying safe and healthy
The number of people passing away from the virus
Selfishly that I won’t be able to go abroad
Scared about not returning to my normal routine/lifestyle
That this will never be over
There is still inspiration. There is still hope. Here’s where some of us are finding it –
Praying that this will all be under control soon
That after this more people will see the value in the essential work being done by so many
Always thinking of one thing that was good about my day before bed
I’m trying to embrace how slow life is right now, because when will life be this slow again!
I feel hopeful because I have to. Gotta have something to look forward to, hoping things will get better
I’m inspired by the people around me who are turning to creative outlets
I’m inspired by how the world is continuing to move forward
My beautiful friends finding out more about their futures!!
Sunshine and the promise of warm weather
Finding inspiration from the medical professionals that are sharing good news!
Finding inspiration in my classes and hope in the ability to continue my education
I know this post has been long. And if you’ve made it here, thank you for sticking with me, for sticking with us. I hope you found some support here, found some comfort and validation. This is a tough time to be living through and it is complicated for all of us in different ways. What struck me, and maybe this struck you too, is how similar so many of the responses to these questions were. There is nuance and responses that vary, but a lot of us are grappling with the same fears and worries, feeling the same feelings, and missing the same things. My hope is that there is some comfort there – some feeling of being in this messiness together.
My hope is also that we find inspiration from each other. That we smile about the things others are smiling about. That we find some inspiration in new things our friends are learning. This is an inspiring community. And this is where we’re all at. We’re a complicated mix of scared and hopeful, a lot of us laughing in the same days we’re crying. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks with an update on how we’re doing. But for now, I urge you to continue to choose love in this moment. We’re not alone right now. We may be at least 6 feet apart from each other and maybe we’ve only been face-to-face with a couple of people in the past month but we still get to show up. We still get to experience community right now. xo
I am going to end this piece with (1) ideas on how we can continue to choose this community, ideas on how to show up for one another and (2) a list of songs, podcasts, TV, movies, books, etc. that have been getting all of us through, what’s keeping all of us entertained.
Ways to love each other through quarantine.
Laughter and Kindness
Texts
Sharing inspiring/insightful articles
Random facetimes (and scheduled facetimes)
Reconnect with old friends + people who might not realize you’re thinking of them
Reach out
Try to be present
Phone calls
Share photos of our pets with each other
No emotional dumping without permission
Check on your friends, even those that perhaps appear fine.
Stay entertained.
Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Girls Gotta Eat
In Your Feelings – a podcast from Thought Catalog
Just Break Up Podcast
NYTimes podcasts
Office Ladies
The Bitch Bible
Thick & Thin
TV
30 Rock (Hulu)
All American (Netflix)
Breaking Bad (Netflix)
Broad City (Hulu)
Community (Netflix)
Cheer (Netflix)
Greys Anatomy (Netflix)
How To Get Away With Murder (Netflix)
Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu)
Modern Love (Amazon Prime)
New Girl (Netflix)
Non-Orthodox (Netflix)
Schitts Creek (Netflix)
Sex Education (Netflix)
The Blacklist (Netflix)
The I-Land (Netflix)
Tiger King (Netflix)
Movies
Mickey and the Bear
Books
Authors: Sally Rooney + Meg Wollizter
Dominicana by Angie Cruz
Educated by Tara Westover
Jamie Tworkowski reading “If You Feel Too Much” on Instagram live
Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
Normal People by Sally Rooney
A Good Neighbor by Therese Anne Fowler
Vibrate Higher by Lalah Delia
Wake, Siren: Ovid Resung by Nina MacLaughlin
Music
“Graceland” – Paul Simon
“Underdog” – Alicia Keys
Instagram live of Dermot Kennedy
Jimi Hendrix
My Pandora station from freshman year
New Music Friday playlist from Spotify
Southside (Sam Hunt’s new album)
Fitness
Peloton App (free for 90 days) – shoutout to Robin Arzon, Ally Love, and Cody Rigsby
Workout live-streams on Instagram
Also TikTok
Also all lifestyle vloggers
Also @werennotreallystrangers on Instagram for an account that asks the type of questions that led to this blog all year round, pandemic or not.