how we're doing (part two)
Emotional. Overwhelming. Bizarre. Weird. A Blur. Repetitive. Stressful. Chaotic. Jumbled. Uncertain. Infinite. Defeating. Exhausting. Stagnant. Sad. Scary. Quiet.
These are the words we would use to describe the past few weeks and I’d add heartbreaking, frustrating, and transitional to the list.
I’ve lost track of the number of days or weeks it’s been since I’ve returned home to quarantine but I know it’s been well over a month. All of April has come and gone and it’s wild to me that we are already a few days into May. Like most, if not all of us, I am emotional most days. I think about what life was like before all of this and I miss it. I think about what life was “supposed” to look like right now and I mourn that. And while admittedly I am feeling more settled into life at home, I have complicated feelings about calling this moment a “new normal” and everyday still feels like a learning moment on how to “be” right now.
A couple of weeks ago I started asking questions on my Instagram. I was curious about how we are all feeling, emotions we are working through, things we are doing, and maybe something we are learning. I started with 22 questions and put our answers in a blog post. If you missed it, you can read that here. I’m still curious about these things. I’m still sure that right now we need each other maybe more than ever and that we owe it to ourselves and to each other to be intentional about community right now. What follows is an update, a check-in on how we are doing. It is the result of 32 questions and brave, vulnerable, and honest answers. I hope we remain open to the possibility of community right now and continue to check in with each other. I also hope that what follows is a reminder that you are not alone. Other people are feeling what you’re feeling. We are walking through this together.
Some of us are quite literally living this within the same walls. 94% of us are quarantined with others.
A note to the remaining 6% - I hope that you still feel loved and connected even when apart from friends and family. I hope your days are filled with Facetimes and virtual displays of love. You are not alone and I hope that that feels true.
We are quarantined with
Family (entire families, parts of families, extended and immediate families, chosen families)
Friends
Our pets – though really people only mentioned their dogs
Nannies
Roommates
Significant others (our own or those of our family or roommate)
59% of us, whether we are quarantined alone or with a few, are more or less still working on being able to enjoy extra time with ourselves.
Only 40% of us would call our quarantined environment positive and an overwhelming 81% of us are struggling to work from home. Let this be a reminder that it is okay if productivity looks different right now. I remain convinced that this is not the time to hustle. I too find it hard some days to work and study from home. We are doing our best given our circumstances.
There are of course things we wish we could be doing.
Study at a local coffee shop
Be at Colgate enjoying our last few weeks as students
Hang out with my friends at the brewery
Go to the farmer’s market with friends and bool at night
Go see my family
Go to RIG buffet
Go to Flour & Salt with my friends
Go out
Hug my boyfriend and best friends (and then go get margs with the gals)
Go to a coffee shop and sit with friends
Drive along the beach with some friends
Hug my friends
Go to HH and be carefree
Shop or go out to dinner with friends
Drive to see my college friends!
Spend time with friends
Go to a restaurant on my NYC bucket list, get ready, and hit the town with my friends
Go to Flour & Salt after my class, workout, hit up the lib, get ready to go out
Hang out with my friends and go into a restaurant and eat there
Go to work and then happy hour with my coworkers
Eat out at a restaurant or better yet hit up a BAR
Grab tea with my friends
Cook dinner with my friends and go to a party with 50+ people. Crazy.
Go to Greece
Hang out with friends
Go to a restaurant
Go swimming in the ocean
Play our first game against Holy Cross
And then there are the things we are actually doing. These are the ways we have filled our days – the ways we stay entertained and stay connected.
I have bolded all of the ways we are filling the time that are not related to work or school and that do not involve a screen. I understand that work and school are more or less nonnegotiable, things we have to do, and that we can find a lot of joy and comfort in TikTok and Netflix and YouTube but as someone who has seen her screen time skyrocket and who is thinking about how she will fill the day once her school assignments finish, I thought it would be helpful to take the advice of this community and highlight some other ways we can stay entertained.
Doing schoolwork and classes, going for walks/exercising, reading, watching TikToks
Working out, yoga, Headspace meditations, but mostly sitting on my phone
Homework, YouTube, cooking
Lots and lots of cooking and card games
Binge watching TV
Reading, homework, hanging out with the fam
Drinking and running. Running and drinking. Separately though.
Baking, reading, Netflix, at home workouts, running, walking, Facetime, cooking
Studying, eating, hanging with my fam
Trying to do work!
Some school work, spending time with family, and working on my distance running
I do homework for at least 2 hours a day and when I get burnt out I create a routine and follow it
Reading and learning American Sign Language
WFM, walking, reading, Netflix, calling/Facetiming friends
Doing work every second of every day
Walking around the neighborhood
Free workout videos, homework, cooking new foods
Binge watching Homeland on Netflix
Focusing on exercising and healthy eating
Crocheting and cooking
Going on walks, doing puzzles, cooking and baking, spending time with my mama and doggo
I cook a lot and make my friends do zoom games
Doing school work, working out, trying to eat healthy and reading!
A lot of the questions and themes explored in this piece are similar if not identical to those explored a few weeks ago. There are two key categories though, two experiences and struggles and anxieties we are collectively working through that are new to this piece.
First: health, fitness, and wellness.
92% of us have a different approach to health, fitness, and wellness right now than we did before and 87% of us are experiencing some level of stress or anxiety around health, fitness, and wellness.
When I asked these questions I prefaced with this reminder from @emmazeck_.
As we work on giving ourselves grace in regards to productivity right now, I hope we continue to work to give ourselves grace when it comes to our bodies. It is okay and given the above poll results, clearly normal, for your routine around health and wellness to look different right now. It is okay if our bodies are changing. I hope we continue to show ourselves some love, some grace, some forgiveness. Find ways, big or small, to care for yourself. Get outside and feel the sun. Trust that you are and will be okay. Keep doing the things you love. You are doing your best.
A few suggestions from our community on things helping our health, fitness, and/or wellness right now …
My family and I got a peloton and I’ve really liked that!!
Peloton!!! The app is free for 90 days! The outdoor runs and yoga have a positive impact
Peloton cardio workouts
Orange Theory app, Peloton app, Chloe Ting Ab shred, Couch to 10K
Going on runs around my town has been fun
I’ve been doing a lot more outdoor running and trying to increase distance
Running!! It is the only time in the day I can be alone with my thoughts and embrace my health
Running/walking outside! And short HIIT workouts that get out my energy in a short time
I’ve never been into running but have started running daily on the treadmill in my parent’s garage (learning how to run more privately has taken away a lot of my anxiety around running)
Going on walks and listening to podcasts and books on Audible
Focusing on just stretching, breathing, and being outside has been so lovely
Gyms doing Zoom classes!
Boxing with a punching bag
Down dog HIIT and yoga
Down Dog Yoga! Free for students until July 1
Livestream yoga classes
Zoom yoga with friends from around the country - it brings back a small sense of normalcy
Yoga! And being really mindful to feed my body foods that make it feel good & happy
@torchdbyisaac IG live workouts every day @11
@jabsbygina
@halfbakedharvest
@smittenkitchen
@rachaelsgoodeats
@haileyperry she has great at home workouts and yoga vids focused on mobility
@thesamplan has been my fav go to for fitness/health/fun balance
Taking walks and doing abs on @hiitburn IG
“Eat Pretty” – book
Sarah’s Day eBook & general philosophy on health
Intuitive eating / whole foods (fruit, vegetables, etc.)
Following a workout calendar
The dog, without her I’d never get out of the house to move
Just tried to tie dye and it was super relaxing
This time around, we also checked in on how we are doing with and feeling about job security, job searches, internships, etc. This week I am finishing up my final finals and in a couple of weeks I will put on my cap and gown, and walk across my living room – a college graduate. And I am scared. I am scared about not having a job secured. I am scared about entering the workforce right now. These polls showed me I was not alone. 91% of us feel anxious or stressed about how COVID-19 has impacted our post-grad plans and jobs.
More than half of us (63%) don’t have solid post-grad plans or necessarily know what our careers will look like after WFH ends.
And 73% of us have had our plans change over the past roughly two months.
Summer job cancelled
I may no longer have access to my job or internship because of closures by the state
My internship will likely be remote, but I still haven’t heard a definite answer
Research I was planning to work on has been put on hold indefinitely
Not safe or too unknown to move countries for a masters
My start date was pushed back from summer to Nov or Dec
My summer internship is not “remote” but I haven’t heard any details
My start date has been pushed back
Postponed/unknown start date
I was furloughed with the hope of being hired back this summer. But v unsure
I’ve been furloughed indefinitely and will not be able to re-sign my lease in NYC
The industry I planned to work in this summer is closed down so my plans have changed - this has also made me think about a different future industry focus with more job security
There’s a chance that I won’t be employed/have a classroom to actually call my own
Summer internship was cancelled
Internship was rescinded
Not sure where I’m living or if my career goals will have to be stunted
No more job
As someone very much scared and worried about my own post-grad plans I don’t know that I have much advice to offer here. I think the most honest thing I can say here is just that I get it. I am also worried. My plans have also changed. This really scares me too.
I am not hopeless though. I do trust that we will be okay. I trust that this community is resilient. And I guess I just hope that while these polls and questions don’t solve everything, that they make you feel seen and less alone in your experience and worry.
Like before, we seem to be doing just “okay”. If anything, it seems like we are growing more and more discouraged.
On the day polled, only 38% of us said our mental health was good. And collectively, our happiness level seems to hover just around “eh” or 50%.
For the most part these numbers, and the ways they compare to last time, don’t surprise me. Generally these numbers haven’t moved too much and it does not surprise me that we are feeling the same level, if not slightly more, lonely, anxious, stuck, or confused. As we continue to struggle through this pandemic I think it is normal for these feelings to set in more. I’ll say that it makes me really happy that people are feeling a bit less scared and a little more healthy, supported, and safe.
There were two feelings though that moved more drastically than the other 8 since the last time we checked in.
What feels discouraging right now? What makes us less hopeful?
Discouraged because since people can get it again, when will quarantine end? Never-ending
I think I was expecting things to start to return to some sense of normalcy by now
That there is no given time frame, and that most of us will be haunted by a lack of closure
Uncertainty of when this will be over. And I’m missing my friends more as this goes on
Knowing that this could affect the future in every way
People are still getting sick and dying every day and there’s people who don’t seem to care
Quarantine keeps getting pushed back!!!!!!!
The idea of not going back to Colgate in the fall
It’s just been so long!! And it’s hard to tell if any real progress is being made with COVID
The uncertainty about the future makes it hard to be hopeful right now
It feels endless. The longer it goes on the more uncertain it feels
Being so unsure of the future
Quarantine extension!
Just that we’ve been in quarantine for at least 5 weeks now and we’re just so drained
A decline in hope and inspiration honestly is also not that surprising to me. I could echo a lot of what was shared above. I really don’t know when we can expect to start to move out of this or what even to guess life could look like when that happens. I am with all of you in your frustration and share in your discouragement.
That said, despite frustration and despite feeling discouraged, there are things we are smiling about and that feels important to name and celebrate.
The video of Bill Nye walking in a fashion show
My friends threw me a little surprise social distancing birthday celebration
Warm weather
Cats
I got my 1st quarantine hug recently (I’m very affectionate so not being able to have any physical touch from anyone was very difficult)
TikToks
That guy from Kansas that mailed Cuomo one n95 mask
My 2 cats
My dog
My Flour & Salt bagels arriving in the mail
Zooming with my friends
My silly and comforting doggy
I made a delish pie
Having virtual dinner with my family
Watching a Snapchat memory and meeting my best friend’s new puppy!
There are lessons we will take away from all of this.
To practice what I preach to actually seek support when I need it
I am much more capable of supporting myself than I thought
It’s okay to not have the future planned out
Patience
How thoughtful and caring my friends are, and how lucky I am to have their love and support
How to be kinder to myself
To be patient with myself and my feelings
How strong I am
And so another long blog piece comes to a close. Like the last time, I have tried not to put too much of my own spin on these answers. I want you to recognize your voice in this piece. I want this piece to be about us. It is my true hope that this feels like something all of us did together. That said, I will close with a few thoughts, reminders, and hopes.
I continue to be inspired by the vulnerability in these answers and by the ways we have found to still show up for each other and choose community while physically distanced. After conducting these polls and now after having spent hours putting them together in this piece, I remain convinced that my feelings and anxieties right now are not unique. And that is not to say they are not important, but rather to say that other people feel how I am feeling and if that is true for me, perhaps it is true for you too. Perhaps it is a comforting realization to know we are not alone in the hard stuff, to see here in numbers that so many other people are walking this path with us.
My hope is that this piece has been both a reminder that you are not alone in your pain and an inspiration to continue to invest in the positive things around you. Over 200 people have contributed to this piece full of health recommendations, things to smile about, things we are learning, creative ways to fill the time, entertainment recommendations, and more. I am certainly left inspired by the ways we all continue to seek out joy. I hope that in the weeks that come, however uncertain they feel and however discouraging each day in quarantine seems, that we remember the good stuff. That we continue to show up for each other. That we continue to choose to love. xo
Like last time, I want to end with a running list of recommendations (books, podcasts, TV, movies, creators, etc.) that are helping all of us through quarantine. I have included everything from our list last time and bolded all of the new suggestions.
Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Girls Gotta Eat
Hidden Brain (NPR)
In Your Feelings – a podcast from Thought Catalog
Just Break Up Podcast
Lovett or Leave It
Netflix Is A Daily Joke
NYTimes podcasts
Office Ladies
The Bitch Bible
Thick & Thin
TV
30 Rock (Hulu)
All American (Netflix)
Breaking Bad (Netflix)
Broad City (Hulu)
Cheer (Netflix)
Community (Netflix)
Greys Anatomy (Netflix)
How To Get Away With Murder (Netflix)
Jane The Virgin (Netflix)
Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu)
Modern Love (Amazon Prime)
New Girl (Netflix)
Un-Orthodox (Netflix)
Outer Banks (Netflix)
Schitts Creek (Netflix)
Sex Education (Netflix)
The Blacklist (Netflix)
The Bold Type (Hulu)
The Circle (Netflix)
The I-Land (Netflix)
The L Word (Hulu)
Tiger King (Netflix)
Movies
He’s Just Not That Into You
Mickey and the Bear
Trolls Movies
Books
A Good Neighbor by Therese Anne Fowler
Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Authors: Sally Rooney, Meg Wollizter, Zadie Smith
Dominicana by Angie Cruz
Educated by Tara Westover
Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
Normal People by Sally Rooney
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult
The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
The Female Persuasion by Meg Wolitzer
The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen
Vibrate Higher by Lalah Delia
Wake, Siren: Ovid Resung by Nina MacLaughlin
When We Believed In Mermaids by Barbara O'Neal
Music
“Graceland” – Paul Simon
“Underdog” – Alicia Keys
Instagram live of Dermot Kennedy
Jimi Hendrix
My Pandora station from freshman year
New Music Friday playlist from Spotify
Southside (Sam Hunt’s new album)
The Weeknd
Three. Two. One. (Lennon Stella album)
Fitness/Wellness (make sure to see the list of recommendations earlier in the post)
Peloton App (free for 90 days) – shoutout to Robin Arzon, Ally Love, and Cody Rigsby
Workout live-streams on Instagram
Headspace
Accounts + Creators
@freckledfoodie
@werenotreallystrangers
@vivianeaudi
@hannahwintersart
Apps + Games
TikTok
Animal Crossing
Sims
Brain Test
Scribble.io
Other
All lifestyle vloggers
Look at clothes online!
Use codenames on Zoom!